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furi_damu

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hoooolayy [Jul. 4th, 2006|01:49 pm]
furi_damu
[mood |lonelyhha miss Chancey]

my god, it was fun but hard. yesturday night i hung out with eric ran into him when i was thinking of renting a movie. so i went with him and travis to travis`s house. so yah.... they got baked and kept trying o get me to take hoots. over and over it was "c`mon man just take one hoot, nobody will have to know ok? " and shit like "Chancey did, so you can once right?" I DONT FRIGGIN WANNA! jeeeeze. but, as hard as it was, i lasted. i think i was testing myself, because i wanted them to smoke, i even offered to buy them another joint. i think inside i just wanted to put it there, watch them do i, even have them offer, but still refuse, i think i was just seeing what i was made of. and i made it!! hahah i had chanceys hoody on so i put it in the laundry room. haha there like "haha dont wanna get caught?" haha, i actualy admittedi just liked her smell when shes not around hahaha. i fucked up at work realy bad.... they had to throw out like 50 bucks worth of spinach because i idnt put it in the fridge... i didnt know ehehe. but luckely it was chris how found it.. not thomas, thomas would have been an ass. ive grown to hate him... hes just a jerk on a power trip. nodoby likes him and hes been fired once before from our store... fuckin union. haah!! i got a security system started at super value!! hahha im now head of security!!!
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Christmas [Dec. 25th, 2005|10:01 am]
furi_damu
[mood |sicksick]

well, its christmas today. I woke up early because i got sick, wasnt much fun. I cried alot today, its just realy tough not seeing her. I`m not eating today, too sick. This is probably my worst christmas. Next year will be so much better, at least i get to see her soon! 5 days, im more excited for that than any stupid holiday.
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Finaly... [Nov. 29th, 2005|09:57 pm]
furi_damu
[mood |happyVery happy]

Miles to go before I sleep...
Miles to go before I sleep...

One of my favorite poems.

Now I can finaly sleep.

My marks are up.
My lover is happy.


My parents respect is earned.

My own respect is earned.

I`m having fun.

Her, the most important aspect of my life... respects me.

I`ve proved I`m worthy to my earth.

I`m with the most wonderful person on earth.
Her name is Chancey.
And unlike the other girls...
She chooses not to drink or smoke or do stupid drugs...
She`s actualy the only one I`ve met who does not.

And it makes me happy.




I can finaly sleep...

My life finaly has meaning...

I`m finaly finding....






... Thomas Taylor.


And all of this.... Is all because...

Of a beautiful girl I met...



Who changed my life forever.


And I deeply thank her with my most profound gratitude.
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Daily [Nov. 13th, 2005|05:19 pm]
furi_damu
[mood |sadSad]

Damn...


I realy wanted to see her today.
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Daily [Oct. 27th, 2005|10:36 pm]
furi_damu

The story

Today I imidiatly knew where to go. I just walked there with Mark and them, incredibly excited to blow off my plans. We sat on a table to talk.

Talk of buisness.

We began to discus our ideas. We`ve hardly got any grasp going, all we have are ideas ideas ideas. I explained to them we need to grasp and move unto our plans, not just plan them all. Graiden told them to listen to my theories.

Exploit buisness.

We need profit.

Market of music,

food,

and supporters.

First we use supporters. Simple, even just the four of us can run bingo.

Even just the four of us can run a cheap way to make money.

But with supporters...

We can run many things

Sponser things

And profit.

Ounce we have profit

We can start what we want.

Money can get you all but love.

 

 

 

And I`m the only one thats got that gift and joy and honour.

 

Which is why this will never interupt with my true happiness.

 

And my true future.

 

Later that day

"Time for Tom to go home."

It caught me by suprise.

I was looking forward to being there until later. I realy didnt want to leave Chancey, god I wanted to spend time with her.

So i mosied to the door, making every excuse to hold me love in my arms and every excuse to tell her I loved her. 

 

I couldnt say it enough.

It was a good goodbye, like they should be. Full of happiness yet still a need to stay.

Walking out I glanced back to see Chancey losing the computer, which was quickly dominated by Kelsey and Amanda. I felt a tickle of jealousy at the sight, but quickly felt silly and childish well setting in reality

Theres a difference between you and Amanda.

So once again I paced a march as fast as a German soldier. I`ve always been told I walk fast. Its been embeded in my head since 11.

Walking.

16 year old boy. Green hair. Combat Jacket. Leather Pants.

 

Listing to orchestra and choir.

 

Regular bad ass.

 

Walking.

Plotting other ways.

Passing the spot I rolled up my fishnets to avoid being called a fag.

Got me slightly cross.

I regret doing it.

And once again I plot of the way I would show my revenge and proving them all...

 

This is no coward.

 

But I was.

 

Stepping in a puddle.

 

Leaving a trail.

Admiring my goose step prints.

Walking.

 

Visualizing me, in front of 500 troops. Walking down that very road. My own Putsch.

I shout Zig.

And am responded by 500 stiff right arms, and screaming "Heil!"

I never did like the fact Hitler was against all those things.

So my soldiers wouldnt be saluting his beleifs.

Nor would they be saluting white-power or anti-semetism or racism.

Whey would be saluting

 

...Me.

 

Not because I`m evil or deadly or feared.

But because I`m.... me. My beleifs, my rights, my ideas.

 

Me

 

Heil Schneider. [Laugh] (My last name in German is Schneider)

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The Dictatorship Of Thomas Taylor [Oct. 17th, 2005|10:37 pm]
furi_damu
PUBLIC NOTICE TO FOLLOWING CITIES:

YOUR CITY IS POSTED FOR PRIMARY ELIMINATION.
KITIMAT
TERRACE
PRICE GEORGE

That is all for now, thank you for you cooperation.
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Buck Diche [Oct. 16th, 2005|11:36 pm]
furi_damu
[mood |blankblah....]

blahhhh.... i hate this feeling. I was just wandering on the net while i decided to come here. boom. right back to the whole shrooms ordeal. i know its over. But I quote "I realy wanted to try them" why do i feel bad?!?! i know i was doing the right thing, i know i was doing us both a favour. then quote again. "do em" blehblehbleh. i hate that. it made me feel all shitty inside again. i just wanted to drop the computer and run to my room and lay there for a few hours. it... just hurts alot. i dont know why it hurts... realy dont... but it just fucking kills my insides. Everything about the stupid topic. But, (smile) she told me to not let her. so i wont. thats deffinitly a promise i can keep. I think she just needs a lil support and help on the DONT side. it seems everyone keeps saying do it do it. but i think she needs someone in the red corner. as long as i`m around, drugs wont be either.
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Dast Ka Ziche [Oct. 15th, 2005|10:03 am]
furi_damu
[mood |intimidatedI`M BROKE NIGGA I`M BROKE]
[music |Skinny Puppy - Pro-test. (ironicaly the schools protesting)]

Bla! Chanceys new account, yay, one more friend haha. I need to finish portfolio and well, erm, other portfolio. i gotta write more, he wants to publish it, so best be doing some. Chancey overcomes the war against curiosity about shrooms! yayayaayayayayaaaaaay! im so effing proud of her. She asked if she could use me as her excuse of why not, i said go for it. Any thing for her. Shes been down lately, so i want to do something a wee-bit special for her. But i donts know whats. Were going to buy some books today, i`ll get seom money for em. then we gotta help Joe-ANNE, bleh, move. goddamn, shes got her own kids to help her haha, not he boyfriends minions. I hate it how her dad always changes things, and then we she and her sister say otherwise, he gets all defensive. Hell, i`m there when he first says it, i whitness it ahah, and then he changes it. oh well, life goes on, and we will paint those walls, not the cealing, walls i tell you. And i`m getting them a goddamn phone for the computer. they need it!! haha. her dad buys a new phone, and puts it 3 seconds aways from the previouse, right in his room, so yay, we still get to use ol` rusty, the cancer patient phone. haha. this is fun. Chancey deserves soem cake, you know that? i`m gonna get her soem cake or something. I know!!!! i`m gonna bake a cake for Chancey! you bet i am. errrrrmmm, perhaps chocolate or angel food cake? i dont even realy need and excuse to make it besides "Cheer-the-fuck-up you!!!" in big bold letters with frosting hahaha. its settled, a cake. AAAHHHH!!! noooo. i declared war on russia and england... totoaly killing my source of saltpeter. bleh.. fuck it... nuke time some more....hope Chancey gets better, she gets free piggy backs and hug and kisses for awile ;-)
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Savage blood painted of Civilized Faces [Sep. 28th, 2005|09:28 pm]
furi_damu
[mood |happyfunfun suck my dick.]
[music |Frank Sinatra- Miss Kitten & The Hacker]

Well, finshed lord of the flies. inspired me to start a novel. So its gonna be about the kids, but its a new theme, instead of: "Are we naturaly evil? or are we just born evil?" my theme will be "Is it people, or work of people that drive us?" So it will only be the kids in a city (island of course) And their wont be adults, just remains of. like billboards and towers and adds. no electricity tho. So, i need to figure out... how can they hunt? I think to replace "Fruit" witch symbolises the kids who wont eat the meat becaus eits barberic, i`ll use food like fruits found at abandon stores and chocolate bars from machines. The meat could be... zombies? mutants from what wipped out all adults? stray dog to start, to break it in somewhat calm. And simons secret place will either be a room in a high tower or the sewer. the lord of the flies will be... maybe a severed zombie head?? or an adult body? we shall see. I`ll plan it out. ME AND CHANCEY!! 6 MONTHS!!! im damn proud.
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Tap Taouche?! [Sep. 4th, 2005|01:22 pm]
furi_damu
[mood |tiredJust Tired...But lonely too...]
[music |Skinny Puppy- Neuwerld]

Well, anyone else hate their father?grr. He agrevates me! very fucking much! God. Chancey cant even talk today.... realy, realy sucks. I have to do a shitload of math and actualy clean my room and crape the bathroom floor. I already miss her. I was thinking about when we first kissed again... little did i know that day I would one day want to marry her. Little did i realise then how much love we would share. Little did i know the bond... My mom was talking about how Chanceys not aloud out today. She said the curfew shit was because Chanceys dad was feeling her slowly become more attached to me and away from him... towards maturity. I told her about Chancey and her ex, who went out for 14 months...Chancey said that he has never gone this hardcore before. Then my mom said, maybe... maybe he can see we love each other so much that maybe he knows theres a future here? like a deffinit bond thats inseperable. Maybe he can see.... more then with her ex... that we realy have something lasting.... maybe. I hate to make her and Keith look childish, I`m sure she loved him. But maybe ours is.... more? I sound selfish again. But i just dont know... could that maybe be a factor in the curfew???? ....I`m such a selfish bastard. and A goddamn fucking faggot too. :)
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